One Year

We were supposed to be up early to greet the day... at least I was. I had a 6 AM date with my Kempo DVD followed by a shower and breakfast at 7:15. School beginning promptly at 8 AM.


But today is one year.


One year since Brian's mom passed away.


It's hard to believe it has already been a whole year when it feels like it has been just a few short weeks- maybe months, but definitely not a year. I know in my head that so much time has passed since then and life has changed significantly in that time, but the feeling is still there. It has been barely any time at all...


And we have all felt it the last few days. I don't think we knew it really. I mean, Brian and I knew the date was coming and that awareness hung over us, but even the boys seem to know something isn't quite right.


So today we took advantage of the beautiful homeschooling perk of starting a little bit later and hanging out on the couch instead of around a table. We are cuddling up instead, reading about explorers, working on some memory verses and the order of the U.S. presidents, and Ender is just about bursting as he tolerates "school work" for a short while in order to get to the reading portion of his day. He started Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone on his own and he's been carrying the book around just waiting for opportunities to read a page or two.


A year ago we were stuck in each day, not sure what would come next. Each day seemed to be 100 hours long as we navigated her passing and the following events of flowers and funerals and holding sad little boys.


Today we will be quiet. We will draw and talk and read and play and remember.