He is his father's son.
Their emotions play out in identical patterns, 26 years apart.
It wasn't so long ago that I was able to redirect an angry toddler with a few words and a point in a new direction.
But now that he is older the emotions are bigger, as is the child, and it's so easy for it to explode into a big mess that falls on everyone. There are tears and rage and cries of "not fair" and I sit with a boy that is sad and angry and thinks he's alone.
He cannot see that we walk with him, that we are sad too, that we wish Daddy was home just as much as he does. I try to remember that these few weeks that seem to move slowly to me seem not to move at all for him.
I find myself quite continually on my knees for this child. While I pray for the lessons I know my son needs to learn, I grow more and more aware of the lesson God lays before me:
I am still shaping you on this journey, just as I shape him.
Sometimes I find myself wondering where that balance is: parenting is supposed to be about the formation of our children, but there are times where it seems like it is so much more about my own formation.
Their emotions play out in identical patterns, 26 years apart.
It wasn't so long ago that I was able to redirect an angry toddler with a few words and a point in a new direction.
But now that he is older the emotions are bigger, as is the child, and it's so easy for it to explode into a big mess that falls on everyone. There are tears and rage and cries of "not fair" and I sit with a boy that is sad and angry and thinks he's alone.
He cannot see that we walk with him, that we are sad too, that we wish Daddy was home just as much as he does. I try to remember that these few weeks that seem to move slowly to me seem not to move at all for him.
I find myself quite continually on my knees for this child. While I pray for the lessons I know my son needs to learn, I grow more and more aware of the lesson God lays before me:
I am still shaping you on this journey, just as I shape him.
Sometimes I find myself wondering where that balance is: parenting is supposed to be about the formation of our children, but there are times where it seems like it is so much more about my own formation.
*****
Ann Voskamp invites us to consider prayerful parenting this week. For more posts on this topic, visit Holy Experience:
Ann Voskamp invites us to consider prayerful parenting this week. For more posts on this topic, visit Holy Experience:
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There is so much raw truth in this realization, Erin -- that parenting is as much about Him shaping us as it is about us shaping our children. Thank you for illuminating that point so eloquently here.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you wholeheartedly. I feel God is working on my character even more than I am working on my child’s character. One leads to the other. I'm glad he's a much wiser parent than I am.
ReplyDelete